First-timer Birth Story

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The day before my baby was born I was at work, particularly miserable from the Braxton hicks. I wanted to work up until going into labor, but at 11am I announced that I couldn't take it anymore, packed up the last of my stuff and had my boyfriend take me home. I took a nap, went for a walk around the neighborhood. At 5:30pm I went to prenatal yoga.

When I got home my boyfriend was home. He was putting yard debris out because it was Tuesday. I helped pull some weeds. Then I cooked up a weird concoction for dinner - mushrooms, meatballs, bowtie pasta, sun dried tomatoes... Can't recall what else was in there. 

I did some acupressure on my hands and feet hopefully to start labor within a few days (one of the numerous old wives tales I heard). 

11pm I went to bed. 1am I woke up to the noise of my belly going "glug, glug" (like when you move your torso around quickly after filling up on lots of water) then it went "gush"! Warm liquid all over the bed! Luckily I had put a mattress protector down a few weeks before on the odd chance that my water should break in bed.

I had heard that most people don't go into labor by having their water break like in the movies and also I thought if that DID happen, it would be just my luck that it would happen at work, since that was where I spent most of my time. Right as the president of the company walked by, naturally!

I said "honey! My water broke!" And still dreaming, he said "Now?"

He got up, got some towels, I showered, put some dry clothes on, laid back down, not knowing that when your water breaks, it keeps replenishing itself and gushing out once you're full again. Another shower...

The contractions I only noticed started after the water breaking, maybe they started in my sleep and I was just so tired and used to the Braxton hicks they didn't bother me. 

I didn't think they were very regular, you know, the way they "should" be. I tried to stall my boyfriend from calling the doctor and then again from taking me to the hospital. I got a yoga mat, put it by the bed and knelt down, resting against the bed. Trying to work out the breathing and work through the contractions like in the videos I saw and classes we took. I thought I had many, many hours of contractions and labor to go and I didn't want to be that stupid person that checks in too early and suffer through triage (like I did the month before, with Braxton hicks). 

He finally convinced me to get ready to go. Still stalling, I said I needed to find my yoga ball, but we couldn't find it... Eventually we left. 

We got to the hospital around 4:30am. It was dark and stormy. The suitcase, cameras, pillows, all the stuff I had packed to make my long labor more comfortable, we left in the car. I only had my purse and some paper work, like my birth wishlist (which would come in very handy later on). I had to walk a while to get to the ER entrance. It was arduous. Some snarky dude by the entrance said something to the effect of "about ready to pop, huh?" No shit, Sherlock! 

I had to sit at the nearest chair to collect myself from the contractions. They sent me walking to the dreaded triage but they didn't even have me undress or examine me, they said "head straight for the delivery department in a wheelchair". Yay! Triage sucks. 

They put me in the biggest delivery room, as if that were a good thing. I had wanted something intimate, not a giant, cold room with all this medical equipment all over the place. I asked to have the epidural ready just in case I decided I needed it.

The nurses said I was 4cm dilated, but the doctor wasn't there yet. I needed to breathe, breathe... There was no opportunity to get the stuff from the car - I was already so uncomfortable I couldn't be alone. I had to lay down on my side. I needed him to massage my back and fan me with the birth wishlist (that was the only use we got out of that piece of paper). The elusive yoga ball was not needed.

Maybe a little over an hour after we got there I was fighting not to push. Instinctively. I couldn't stop it. I told my boyfriend to go get the nurse. After a quick peek she said I was 10cm already, but the doctor still wasn't there. Keep breathing, don't push.

I needed to, I tried to convince the nurses to deliver, "you know how to do this, you've done it before! Please help me!" They just laughed. It's possible that it was less than an hour from when we arrived until I was ready to push, because I placed the order for the epidural and by the time they arrived with it, it was too late.

Finally somewhere between 5:45 and 6:00am the doctor flew in and we got started. She had me do crunches for 10 seconds each time a contraction came on.

Then the baby's heartrate supposedly started to drop and they had to try the vacuum extraction twice. I say supposedly because it might have been that the heart rate monitor had slipped down again.

After a long, long labor of 6 hours and pushing for less than 1 hour, finally the baby came out at 6:59 am, Wednesday September 18th.

They put the baby on my belly for a couple seconds, then my boyfriend snipped the cord. They went to pull the baby away from me and couldn't because baby was holding onto my IV for dear life. 

I said "um... is it a boy or a girl?", the doctor took a peek and said "you have a daughter!" 

They examined her and gave her back to me to attempt breastfeeding. I don't think she latched on at all. I can't remember. I don't remember the oxygen mask either (but I know there was one, from the bill later on). Then they took her to the nursery to warm her up a little. I told the beaming new daddy not to let her out of his sight. I did not see either of them again for four hours. 

They did not have any recovery rooms available so they kept me in the delivery room. When we took the tour they said they never run out of rooms, but  they'd come close! Right. Maybe they meant they'd never run out of delivery rooms, not recovery rooms. But they didn't say that and they didn't explain that it's against their policy to bring babies back to the delivery room once they've taken them to the nursery for checkup / warming lights.

That is the reason they gave us for not bringing her back to me. We needed to have a recovery room first. I wonder if we made enough noise if they would have brought her back to the delivery room. 

Finally we got a shared room (with a noisy family) even though we paid for a private. They were minutes from sending my boyfriend home because visitors' hours were almost over, but finally we got a private room. I didn't know that was a possibility either - that if you were forced to share a room, the dad can't stay. 

I don't know what I would have done without him there overnight... He was the one getting up to change her and bring her to me for attempting to feed. In fact I think I only changed a diaper or two in the hospital because it was such a painful effort to climb out of bed.

I highly recommend this heavenly salve for those recovering from natural childbirth:

They kept asking me what my pain level was and trying to push pain killers on me. I wasn't in any pain unless I had to move. Finally I took some Motrin. Of course you get billed for every little pill.

I had a hard time with the breast feeding. The latching on wasn't going very well. She couldn't find the nipple or the nipple was too small... How do you tell a baby they need to open their mouth wider? The nurses promised me that they were going to bring me breast shells and they never did. The lactation consultant was not very good, she was very forceful and impatient because she was on her way out the door to start her vacation. 

The pediatrician said that we could not leave the hospital until we had fed her 2 bottles of formula. I did not want to do this because I had heard of nipple confusion. But we had to. I was so disappointed and felt like such a failure. 

I ended up having to supplement with formula until she was a month and a week old because in the beginning she was jaundiced and dropped 10% of her weight since birth. We fed her lots of bottles which led to nipple confusion and it was a struggle to get her to latch on. 

We were so overwhelmed and didn't know what we were doing that we didn't think to be pushy. Also I had no idea how often newborns had to eat (every 2 hours from start to start) and that her separation from me for the first 4 hours of her life was going to cause feeding problems. Maybe that's what made her jaundice worse...      

The delivery was great but the recovery was a nightmare. I was just another number. Not that it was any of the nurses' fault, but we hardly ever saw the same nurse twice, because that's how their shifts go. You explain your issues and they go off to get something for you and their shift ends or they get sidetracked because the recovery rooms were overbooked. No one was looking out for us. It's all about how much extra stuff they can bill you for and trying to push pills and their sponsors' products on you (baby formula). 

I wish we would have had a "birth coach" (doula sounds so eccentric). Someone that knew what our wishes and goals were and that would fight for us and ask "what will happen if they don't do that thing you're recommending that they don't want to do?"
except it's probably over $1000.

My sister had offered to be here for the birth but I didn't want anyone else in the delivery room. I had no idea how useful her help and advice would have been, having 3 young kids of her own. She would know to ask "what happens if you don't do that?" and "why can't you bring the baby back to the delivery room?" and to chase down the nurses for whatever I needed. She was so helpful coaching with breastfeeding, I'm sure we would have figured it out much sooner if she'd been there.

When I was pregnant, I checked out a birth house, but being older I felt like it wasn't safe / "hospital-like" enough. What if something went wrong? I heard they do have ambulances on standby and they are not far from the hospital. Anyway, hospitals are filled with sick people! What was I thinking bringing a helpless baby into the world there?

I was so disgusted with the hospital that next time I am thinking to go to a birthhouse. Not my house - I don't feel like it could ever be sterile enough because of the cats.

If I were younger, my advice to myself would be to go to a birthhouse, get a birth coach or at least someone who knows what you want and has been there before to advocate for you.